Sunday, October 14

Thanksgiving...

...... and i felt so nice to see few people standing by me.. it feels so gud that u have such friends on whom u can bank on any point of time...
I felt so touched that they were worried too,about wat will be doc's verdict...

to start wid- Thnks to my lil' bro for being wid me forever.. since childhood u have been wid me in all odds.. i knw there were times wen i had no one but u lent me ur shoulder to cry on, have spent whole nite's hugging him and crying and sharing all my dilemma's,.. i was so touched wen u called up.. we both knw our drawbcks and i think now am ready to fight them out ... 'cos i knw ur wid me... i think i knw, i'll have to live for you...

thnks Shona.. i really didn't expect ur call in the evening,but felt gr8 to hear frm u... I wish things were in my hand and we cud be together forever.. but now seems things have slipped off from my hand... and cant even get them back on place... I think it will take sometime but i'll get over it for sure...

last but not the least- Kartik .. thnks for being such a wonderful friend... thnks for ur scolding, thnks for e'thing u hve given to me... i really relish such a wonderful friend like u in my life... :)

Ideally, anyone else who was writing this kindda topic, there list would have started wid the names of there parents, but i have been really unfortunate in this regards.
my dad came home same morning but didnt come to me to the hospital... and wanted him o stand nxt to me.. mom had to be come along as it was an obligation..

There are few mistakes which u commit and u have to pay for them, till u are alive..
my love affair in class 11th was one of those mistakes of which am paying till date..
after the break-off i was so shattered,that i wasnt ale to accept the fact that this has happened to me and i should move on, it took me around 2yrs to get bck to normal... and dont knw wat made my parents shod by me that time ..
i wish i had a time machine and i cud erase that time of my life... than i was free to do watever i wish to, and e'time they wud'nt have reminded me of those times to make me except wat they want.. but its life,.... and all this happens....

Earlier i was never scared of Death, cos i knw i dun hold much importance in any ones life, that if i die there life will be effected, people will say, oh! she died ... she was a sweet gal.. and life will move on..(which still i believe in..)
But, standing outside the Caner ward, and watching people dying minute by minute was terrible... The ward had young gals, boys, old aged, kids.. i just couldnt stand there pain and agony, whomsoever was looking at me, there eyes were asking me , "WHY ME?" "wat wrong i have done?", wen will i go from here?
And that was time i was SCARRED... damm scarred... scared of Dying, scared of pain... scared of loosing thing n people whom i love...
I think i was not scared of dying (cos still iam not that important for anyone-except my brother) ... i was more scared of the pain...
I also learned,from them how to fight.. fight for ur survival... they had hope of being fine and going back home one day... and i would pray to god, this shud happen one day...

i use to consider myself as a cursed child -- but after watchin them.. i thought i wasnt that unfortunate...
atleast i can wlk, talk, play... do watever i want... because i knw how terrible if feels to b bed ridden for months... i have undergone two surgeries and i can u'stand the pain and helplessness..
but anyway.. i started to say thanks and see where i headed...
so stopping my thought right here.. right now..

and extending my thanks to all ma frnds for being wid me.. :)

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