Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise... WOW !! well said!!

I just read the following lines and found tooo apt for me.. -
"A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes."

It actually happened with me... i think the biggest problem with me is i expect a lot and give too much to the people who dont want it... nor they value or care ..... or even if they care, they dont want to show it off as may be they want to play it safe.....

TRUST ME THIS POST IS NO OFFENCE TO ANYONE... esp, for HIM... they r just my feelings which r penned here, no hard feelings...
I really understnd e'one has there own perspective and thinking.. and i respect those...
It was my mistake, i started to take his friendship in just another manner... i feel sorry now...

But wat abt me? my feelings... I knw wat, they are meant to be broken....
I agree with him, he doesnt want to commit and have some problems at his end..
But wat hurt me the most... was his one simple question," I hope u havent started to Love me.?"
till now i am just speechless and just tryin to figure out, Was'nt it was so obvious, tat all wat iam doing is just out of Love..."
Were'nt my posts were so evident, to tell him i love you... why i wud i have felt bad, if u were not answering my calls? not replying my messages? etc, infact e'one who read them knew i have strted likin s'one after years....
And he knew it well i just wrote them for him cos i was unable to talk abt it .... and even today he knows i'll write it all....

Just one question from you, which i wanted to ask but couldnt,(infact there are so many i wanted to ask but cud'nt,and now will never) "Does all our friends, or ones who doesnt love you, call you and ask have u reached home as its was raining heavily in ur city?" or "does any of ur friend who doenst love you, goes to the passport office,while its raining to ask weather one can get his passport, if he is not present in the town."
Ah !! may be he is tooo lucky to have such friends, i just had one friend who did so much for which i thought was out of friendshp, but later it happened to be his Love for me.... and till date i miss him.... and honestly that was the time stared to Blog....

But agan i'll say, it was not his mistake, i was being stupid tht i started to like him... and he just thought of me as good,caring n loving friend of his....
Though he never showed any interest in me, but i dont know how did this thing came into my mind that he also likes me.. and i started to dream things and strted to plan things at my end... how stupid of me...
But wat wud any other gal wud have thought, if a guy wud have approached thru a matrimonial site? and calls by himself to talk.. trust me i jus think i made fool of my self.. and now feeling hurt..
Ratna is rite, how much i knw abt him? since how long i knw him? and same goes for him !!
And honestly, i dot knw abt him but i told him e'thing abt me, my past, my present.... e'thing for that matter....

She asks me not to cry, and same he asked after asking me that stupid question "are u crying?"
wasnt that obvious that i will cry !! and trust me i cud hold myself in frount of him but just cud'nt hold my self wen called Rat's i cried.. cried like hell... and just cudnt speak a wrd... but iknw Rat's is s'one who can make out frm my Hello! over the phne, wat iam upto...
she has seen me in my all time low to all time happiness...

Today he told me that another friend of his was upset cos he told her tat he is going to see a gal for marriage thing, and she stopped chatting with him.. i think she also started to love him...
So one thing is clear, for a person who has so many options, why wud he restrict to one... and esp for a one who has nothing extra ordinary... am just like any other gal on this earth...

He suggests me, not to restrict my options to him.. i shud be practical... Ah!! i wish i cud do that... Dear i try hard to be practical but am unfortunately tooo emotional... and thats where i lack..
If i was practical, wud have been crying and jottin down things here.... and on top of it wud'nt have been waiting for you on yahoo.. inspite of knowing he'll not loging....

Its not that i love him like mads or s'thing like that .. i think am grown up frm that stage but ya i think he was kindda guy, i was lookin for ....
And now i think, there must be few of his other friends who might be thinkng like this... cos might be that basic him, which i(mistakenly) thought was only for me...

But koi na.... E'one learns a lesson,and i learnt too..
But one ting is for sure.... I'll wait for him... will not commit till wen, but y for sure till i can...
I knw this will make no difference to anyone ... but i told ma heart out...

Also i knw, my destiny and so called God is never with me... but still one last wish n one last hope...
Lets see wat happens!!

"The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."

But tht something or that s'one, has his own world and himself, he doesnt need me, for sure...!!

And inspite of knowing all,cant stop my tears rolling down!! going insane for sure...

but just dont knw why ma writin it all... just make him realise wat all is going at my end.. or am upset that in other part of this same world s'one is celebrating, there love gettin official soon... !!!