Its been long am tryin to complete this post !!!
but just to apprehensive to write abt it ...
So gathered up the courage and have started, lets seee wat all i cant jott .......
At times i think, I AM in Love.... but when i actually, think again n seriously, i become sure
I CANT LOVE.... ya u read it rite, I CANT LOve,
Cos, I presume.... LOVE is not meant for me !! Just not ... for a gal like me .. cos i EXPECT...and that is where i go wrong...
But than i feel.. if iam giving my 80% to a person atleast 40% is expected !! atleast an SMS wen on trip or just a call to say -HI or even a self written mail not any forwards.... but nah!! we talk only wen i call, and than i feel, iam intruding in ones life... and step back... and hold myself...
Yep i like him, but always in a question "IS it the same that end?"
and to be frank wen i think abt the answer all my thoughts n so called love feel goes phusssssss!!!!
and i land in the world of reality... left again wid the same sadist loner inside me ...
E'time i get this set back i decide not go for it , but again i think one last try!!
(And iam sure after readin it, he'll stop talking.... )
I u'stand him.. how can he commit anything to me ... we are not puppy lovers... grown ups to u'stand, but as a person iam always scared to lose wat i like, but as my destiny... i surely lose it!!
Actually, we havent talked abt us tilll now, but the bit we discussed, things seems fade.. and i feel low!!
To be frank i still havent u'stood wat r'ship we have in between...
i just dont know how to let out the dilemma inside me .. neither am able to say it here nor to him, infact to noone ... probably i'll call up Rat's and bug her!!
infact have to gossip about L's Engagement, WOW !! yar feels so gud .. another frnd gettin married !!
I was wid a frnd of mine y'day in the mall and she showed me the mangalsutra which her hubby gave him, it was so pretty.... and i was like Ah!! i wish i had s'one who wud have gifted me something ....
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