Why Past always Follows...

I am Again feeling low....
Infact people around me will ask ... tell me something New...

And today am upset cos i am unable to understand Why the hell my past is following me.
As much as i try to run away from it, it keeps coming back to me ...
in some way or other....

And same happened to me today...

i recd a mail from Him... had a smile when saw my inbox and a hope this time he might understand me ... but Ah! i was worng again... he again misunderstood me ... and he still feels am a liar.
And tats wat is killing me .... every day...

I wish i cud make him understand DAMIT, AM NOT A LIAR. It was all a cooked up story...
He gave me an advise not to lay new relationships on Lie's,and Trust once lost, is impossible to gain.
and i only have to say "Once a Liar is not a Liar for Lifetime" n also one shud u'stand if ane lies why that person is doin so... wen ever i did. i did cos i was scared ... too scared to loose him and unfortunately Loved him a lot...

But i Knw ... He had made up his mind so there was no point making him u'stand all that, that time.. and why wud he even try to u'stnd, after all he had better option than me ...
But ya ..i wud have been happier if he wud have told me he wanna end up of s'one else. Atleast i wud'nt have gone thru that phase for those 2yrs, which chnged me forever and wud have not troubled my parents too....
But Its Ok.. May be...

Trust me, if there is God s'where and he answers prayers (Though now i dont believe in god)
than my first n last wish would be ... "Grant me a day wid him,so tht i can atleast tell wat had happened and die in peace thinking now atleast he doesnt think wrong about me." and i think its not too much i demand .... :(

I remember Anoop told me yesterday... Get out of your past.. live in ur today... but sorry anoop... its difficult ... am unable to do it ...
But again will try as u said....